Monday, May 26, 2008
Technology sucks but not really.
Today, for the first time, I hate my iphone. I want my email to go away. I want my internet to go away. The distraction and temptation destroys my self-control. I’m anxious. I obsess. I worry. I long for my brain to feel like my own. I’m giving myself a headache and a stomachache. Boo hiss.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Alix is more coherent than usual but her spelling still sucks.
Until recently I never updated my myspace or facebook status. I could never phrase anything in a satisfyingly clever way, so I would just leave it alone. But not this week. I’m full of one sentence declaratives. Alix is in love with rhinoceros—the creature AND the way they are simultaneously singular and plural. Alix is emotionally unprepared for the Red Wings to destroy los penguinos; she’ll cry if it happens. Alix wishes the graffiti in the Backbooth bathroom read “Chris Harris is a god” and not “Chris Harris is a dick.” Alix is writing a science fiction movie, but it’s going to suck because there will be no spaceships or wookies. And statements I would never ever post: Alix wants to eat, but doesn’t want to be sick. Alix has a stupid crush. Alix is depressed for no fucking reason. Alix wishes she’d had sex with someone she loved. Alix wants to quit her job and become a teacher… seriously.
I want to change my status every twenty minutes.
I don’t know why this is.
I’ve also been really friendly. Which I’m not usually. Not that I’m not friendly, just kind of anti-social. People make me nervous, so mostly I avoid them. There’s some really stupid train of logic (which ironically doesn’t actually make sense), but basically results in me not being good at talking to people and therefore not doing it. But I called some people I would normally think about calling, want to call, and then not call. Which is good but uncharacteristic.
It’s been an odd week. Good in a lot of ways. Little ways. I was creative—finished a few small art projects I’ve had hanging around for a long time. Got ribbon fries at the fair—they peeled the potato right in front of me and I jumped up and down like a little kid. Read some. Wrote some. Played the piano. A bad week in a few ways. Feeling crappy and wishing there was a fix that I could afford and/or would actually work. Kind of hating my job. Being scared for my friends. Terrified of moving—for the first time I love it here. And I don’t want to leave my friends.
I just feel a little odd.
Sigh.
I want to change my status every twenty minutes.
I don’t know why this is.
I’ve also been really friendly. Which I’m not usually. Not that I’m not friendly, just kind of anti-social. People make me nervous, so mostly I avoid them. There’s some really stupid train of logic (which ironically doesn’t actually make sense), but basically results in me not being good at talking to people and therefore not doing it. But I called some people I would normally think about calling, want to call, and then not call. Which is good but uncharacteristic.
It’s been an odd week. Good in a lot of ways. Little ways. I was creative—finished a few small art projects I’ve had hanging around for a long time. Got ribbon fries at the fair—they peeled the potato right in front of me and I jumped up and down like a little kid. Read some. Wrote some. Played the piano. A bad week in a few ways. Feeling crappy and wishing there was a fix that I could afford and/or would actually work. Kind of hating my job. Being scared for my friends. Terrified of moving—for the first time I love it here. And I don’t want to leave my friends.
I just feel a little odd.
Sigh.
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