Sometimes it's hard to remember that new places are fun and exciting.

Single digits=The number of days which I will live in Orlando not including the days I will be in NY next week.

I wish there were more days. And I wish I was enjoying them with my bike (it got stolen a couple weeks ago...). And I wish my roomie was around. And several million other things. Moving is extremely stressful. Surprise surprise. On Monday I am going to New York to try and find a place to live. It's going to be horrible. Everything will be too much money and logistically way too complicated. I will be stressed out and probably cry, even if I do a lot of yoga and remember to take deep breaths.

Here's hoping that despite all the madness, I find a place and I can come back and enjoy my final week (without this nasty-ass black cloud hanging over my head) in this city which, surprisingly, has come to feel pretty homey.

I wrote an essay. And Saudi women can't play sports.

Hey ho. A little while back, after my most recent trip to Dubai, I wrote this essay about civil rights in the Middle East, and it has won a prize in a contest. Check it out, yo.

HAMSA 2008 Essay Winners

On a similar note, check this out. A little more peachy info about women's rights. Saudi and Emirati women aren't allowed to compete in the Olympics...

HAMSA report on Saudi and Emirati women
Saudi women and the BBC


Sigh.

Changes Pt. 2

Today I rode my bike.

Now I am happier.

I started a new job yesterday. On my birthday. When the day was over I felt like this:

photo by Tiina Treasure

But in a good way. Don't be sad. There are worse ways to spend a birthday. And worse ways to feel than really freakin tired. It did, however, occur to me that I could potentially spend the next five weeks of my life being a little more sleepy than I would like.

That was yesterday. Today it has dawned on me that I actually feel better than I have in a long time. Healthy-like. Tired, aching muscles and all. This isn't the lethargic tired I'm used to; it's an I worked a long day and am actually tired tired. It's almost 10pm now. I got up at 7 and spent all day on set. Usually by this time my nuerons are snail-paced, my immuno-suppressed and nutrient-deprived body practically immobile. I've been exhausted for months. But I can deal with exhausted--especially if I'm actually well. So I'm renewing my goals for the summer. (Whoa.) I had this whole "Florida Bucket List" of things I wanted to do before I vacated the state, but those aren't the ones I mean. I mean these three. The three I thought I might have to give up to take this job.
1)Finish a draft of my feature script.
2)Shoot a movie (even if it's uber-short).
3)Finish the canvas that's hanging been hanging out in my bedroom for...well awhile.

God. I better get to work.

Changes.

Today I got my bike fixed. I like bikes. Practically and aesthetically.

I should be happier.

The library is Satan and I am Jesus in the desert.

Not really. It's just that the free and ready access to "The West Wing" on DVD is well....tempting.

I am frustrated by things that make me both happy and sad at the same time. These include:
The West Wing, Drinking, Blogging, Film, My house, Orlando, New York, People, and a lot of other things.

Okay...you get the idea. I'm a freakin basket case this week. I watched the episode "Women of Qumar" today. The one in which they strike a deal to sell weapons to the fictional nation of Qumar (Re: Saudi Arabia or nation with similar women's rights status...). CJ is upset because well "They beat their women" and the US stands by and does business with them, but she has to put on a good public face. There is a moment when Toby stands in the back of the briefing room as CJ, very casually, breaks the news of the treaty. They make eye contact and Toby puts his hands over his heart. It might be my favorite moment of the whole series. It's sad and beautiful and it breaks my heart.

I was walking home from downtown last night. It was late, the bars had all just closed, and nobody wanted me to walk home by myself. There's a house, maybe a block and a half from my place, that's always hopping. Pretty much whenever I walk by there are people there--out front or hanging out on the porch. Apparently 3am is no different. There were a couple guys sitting on the porch smoking cigarettes. Their dog came running up to me and they called him back. We didn't exchange greetings or anything. I was just past the house when I heard one of the guys say (I don't know whether he intended me to hear or not) "Why is she walking by herself?"

I wanted to scream or cry or hit something. I'm not stupid, and I'll f-ing walk home if I want to.

Sometimes your friends say brilliant things.

I just wanted to share this sentence with the world. Because it makes me happy, or is wise or true or something like that...

"Sex in moderation; reading in excess."

That's it.

Technology sucks but not really.

Today, for the first time, I hate my iphone. I want my email to go away. I want my internet to go away. The distraction and temptation destroys my self-control. I’m anxious. I obsess. I worry. I long for my brain to feel like my own. I’m giving myself a headache and a stomachache. Boo hiss.